Laughter, joy and a battle to be won

Waiting in the wings as a stand up comic is a little like riding into battle and carrying the banner ‘laughter, joy and a battle to be won’.  Who knows what is out there?  Sometimes we are required to FIGHT for our freedom to overcome life issues. Don’t look back, feel the rush of adrenaline and just press in when someone shouts ‘CHARGE!’

I walk onto an open stage with just the microphone as a friend, I hold up a large picture of my white family and me as a little black baby and tell the audience how people would often ask me as a child,

560447_10152094595160315_2043767387_n‘When did you realise you were adopted?’  As I hear the huge swell of laughter resound in my ears as people laugh in unbelief, pleasure and absurdity of the situation, I realise that I have finally won the war on my troubled past.  The sting, shame and pain of my transracial adoption story is as good as gone.  I cannot deny that aspects of my challenging past will always upset me, some answers I will never get closure on but that is OK. Some healing still continues but the great fight is won, I want to live and move on. Like the great heroine Joan of Arc, sometimes a battle is worth fighting for – Albeit, for your life.

The intense heat generated from stage lights cause my eyes to squint and delicate tiny beads of sweat cause my forehead to glisten, in a split second my memory wrenches me back into the playground again aged 12. I remember the painful playground taunts at my colour screeched by a chorus of belligerent little scruffy children mocking the lack of self-confidence now evident to all. I would coil into a crying corner walled in by the void of identity, purpose and shame…

Who am I? Why do these children hate me? There was always a sadness of having lost my natural family and as I open my mouth to scream… suddenly I am back on stage again but now my mouth is filled with the scream of laughter… it’s 2014! Thank God! I am loving every second of my comedy show and I realise the journey from childhood to comic has been a great one indeed…  When you finally win a personal victory it is yours forever and no one can take that away from you.  Life is a battle at times, but being victorious is a state of mind needed to win.

Quite simply humour heals, it allowed me to voice, explore and unravel unmentionable traumas and it has given me a unique framework to share my story through my 1 hour solo show called ‘GET CARTER’.

Laugher brings in the brightness of hope.

‘You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humour in anything you can survive it’, Bill Crosby.

Once we recognise a hurt, then we can look at getting help to overcome it, then once healed from a past we can use the experience to springboard us into our destiny.  Without a fight there can be no victory chant.

Lady Diana was right in her belief that what people remember about you is how much you loved them and what you did about it, everything else will not last – Fame, career, money whatever…

So whether you are fighting money troubles, family issues, sickness, fear, lack of direction, being alone whatever it is rest assured that you are on a mission to win.  Battles can be long and bloody but our diligence to overcome is sometimes our greatest weapon.

Whatever you have overcome or are overcoming be encouraged that others will be encouraged by your bravery. Joy :-) x

Author: Joy Carter

Joy Carter CEO and founder of Adoption Arena. ‘Sharing Joy’ sees Joy write on the positives in this field. What can we learn? What is the government and society doing or not doing concerning adoption or fostering? Expect exclusive interviews and narrative. Read more

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